Every year around this time I begin to ponder the accomplishments of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
I’m not questioning why we celebrate Dr. King’s birthday; however, why does McDonalds and the rest world view his birthday as a Black-American holiday instead of an American holiday?
Four years ago my mother, who is Caucasian, asked me if she should give her Black employee the day off on MLK Day. I couldn’t tell if she was joking or serious. I said, “Mom, its only right that she should get the day off.” But now that I look back on the question my mother asked, not only should her employee have taken that day off, my mom should have also. And she should observe all MLK holidays in the future.
Dr. King not only fought for Black rights, he fought for HUMAN rights. I find it very disturbing when the media makes MLK’s birthday a Black-focused holiday, when WHITE women have, in actuality, been the main beneficiary of the civil rights movement.
Affirmative action was passed by President John F. Kennedy to provide equality for minorities in an effort for them to have the same opportunities as their white counterparts; however, white women are considered “minorities” and took full advantage of the benefits. I am not suggesting that it was a problem to do so, although employers used affirmative action to hire more white women than any other minority under affirmative action, and I don’t think that was truly the intended purpose of the initiative.
If it wasn’t for the civil rights movement and Dr. King, we wouldn’t have women running Fortune 500 companies, women running for President of the United States, or a female Secretary of State. As I am writing this blog, I am beginning to recognize all the different kinds of people in America who have benefited from the civil rights era and the work of Dr. King. The Asian community has benefited, Caucasian women have benefited, Black- America has benefited, the Hispanic community, the Irish community, and the list goes on and on.
So, next time you see a McDonald’s ad commemorating the work of Dr. King, but only featuring black actors in the commercial, ask yourself why Black people are the focus when everyone else in America also benefited from Dr. Kings legacy.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
I hurt again
I hurt again.
I’m hurt because again someone I loved, cared about, and that is my cousin was taken away from me.
I ‘m hurt because his mother, brother, uncle, father, grandmother, cousins are hurt.
I’m hurt because my friends saw the killing, and will remember for the rest of their lives my cousin fallen to his knees helpless as he is dying in my friends hands.
I’m hurt because my cousin became another victim on Black on Black violence.
I’m hurt because my cousin becomes a number, an unknown man in Berkeley get killed in San Rafel.
I’m hurt because our black men have nothing to live for when there aren’t a lot of opportunities for them when then get out of prison.
I’m hurt because too many black men are dying and 1.4 million black men have been in jail.
I’m hurt because when I heard the news of is death I couldn’t cry because I am so use to someone dying at home.
I’m hurt because I wish I was there to protect my cousin.
I’m hurt because I am crying as I am writing this letter
I’m hurt because I know this letter I am writing aren’t going to the people I want it to go to
I’m hurt for every single person who has lost a loved one.
I ‘m hurt because I know as a community we can uplift each other from the mental HIV/ AIDS disease that is killing each other
I’m hurt because someone took a friend, cousin, brother, son, grandson away form us.
I’m not worried because I know that God has great things in store for us, and I love him and I BELIEVE in him and I will never question his purpose in life.
PS, this is an open letter to are young black men who are killing each other. We are becoming extinct and we will never make a change if we don’t stop the killing!
I’m hurt because again someone I loved, cared about, and that is my cousin was taken away from me.
I ‘m hurt because his mother, brother, uncle, father, grandmother, cousins are hurt.
I’m hurt because my friends saw the killing, and will remember for the rest of their lives my cousin fallen to his knees helpless as he is dying in my friends hands.
I’m hurt because my cousin became another victim on Black on Black violence.
I’m hurt because my cousin becomes a number, an unknown man in Berkeley get killed in San Rafel.
I’m hurt because our black men have nothing to live for when there aren’t a lot of opportunities for them when then get out of prison.
I’m hurt because too many black men are dying and 1.4 million black men have been in jail.
I’m hurt because when I heard the news of is death I couldn’t cry because I am so use to someone dying at home.
I’m hurt because I wish I was there to protect my cousin.
I’m hurt because I am crying as I am writing this letter
I’m hurt because I know this letter I am writing aren’t going to the people I want it to go to
I’m hurt for every single person who has lost a loved one.
I ‘m hurt because I know as a community we can uplift each other from the mental HIV/ AIDS disease that is killing each other
I’m hurt because someone took a friend, cousin, brother, son, grandson away form us.
I’m not worried because I know that God has great things in store for us, and I love him and I BELIEVE in him and I will never question his purpose in life.
PS, this is an open letter to are young black men who are killing each other. We are becoming extinct and we will never make a change if we don’t stop the killing!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
One Black Queen is all I need!
For the past couple of weeks I have had several conversations with both Black American male and female friends about being in relationships. I have come to a conclusion that the majority of black men of today have become a disappointment to the black women and the Black race as a whole.
I know one might think that the comment I made above was harsh; however, the truth hurts and being a Black man myself, I feel its imperative to write this blog.
Several weeks ago, my friend Jennifer had this quote in her Gmail status: “Black men are playas and white men want to commit”. At first I was offended by the comment but then I began to think about all my Black male friends who are and were in relationships and none of them were faithful. Then I thought about my white male friends and they all were committed in their relationships. I am not at all implying that all white men are faithful, but the majority of white men are not afraid to commit.
For instance, I have a friend who just got married three months ago. I recently saw him at a nightclub with his wedding band on his key chain! I asked him where his ring was. He said, “On my key chain,” with a smile. All I could do was look and shake my head in shame. This is just one of several issues that I encounter when I talk with a lot of my friends about relationships. This issue is not that my friends are married, because God forbid that you catch black men wanting to be married; however, they have a main girlfriend with two or three other women on the side.
When I hear these stories of my friends being in a committed relationship but choosing to cheat, I ask them why they do it. They tell me: (1. They are too young to be committed (2. Their girl made them mad so they cheated (3. Their girl is the one they’re going to marry but they got to “get some” now before they put that ring on her finger (4. “I only got some head.”
When we as Black men cheat on the beautiful Black Queen that we are with it affects her more than anything we as men could imagine. If you look back almost 400 years ago, Black women were much more than just the backbone of the family – she was the leader of the family. Throughout slavery, black women would clean the master’s house, work in the fields, clean her own home lived, cook breakfast and dinner for the master and her family, get raped by her master, take care of the master’s children and her own children, and may have even gotten beaten by her husband because he was helpless and frustrated at being unable to provide for his family. Not only was the Black woman a provider, but also a fearless leader like Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth, Congresswoman Barbara Jordan, and Dorothy Height, just to name a few.
Not only did the Black women of the past lay a foundation for us, but the Black women of today are continuing to do the same. But as black men we decide to walk all over them, take advantage of them, choose not commit to them, disrespect them, lie to them. Black women are the ones that love us Black men, and we have to treat our Black women with the respect and love that they deserve.
Another trend with Black men is their lack of desire to get married. I have heard the same stories over and over again about Black men being with the same women for five years or more, but never proposing or even attempting to take the relationship to the next level. Their reasoning for this is “I’m not ready”, “I don’t want to be tied down”, “I love her, but I’m not ready for that next step.”
One might ask why the women don’t leave after a certain point, and may suggest that it’s her fault for staying with him for that long without a commitment anyway. Anyone can make pass judgment when they aren’t in that particular situation; however, we have to think about what’s going through that woman’s head. (1.She figures that one day he’s going to come around because she knows he loves her and he tells her that everyday (2. She feels that he treats her like a queen and she knows that there’s aren’t that many Black men out there that compare to him or (3. She doesn’t want to be alone so she will lower her standards in order to not be alone.
Furthermore, if your a Black woman, its hard to find that working Black man that you want when one out of 25 Black men between 20 - 29 will die, or that for every one Black man that attends a UC or State school in California five Black men go to prison, and the majority of Black men are in jail and the small percentage that actually have a good job or a college education are too busy being a playa and don’t have a desire to settle down.
Today Black men view Black women as more of an object than as a person. One reason for this stems from Black women being oversexualized in music videos and through other imagery in the media. This doesn’t provide an excuse for the way Black men treat Black women. Black men need to realize that what’s being depicted in videos doesn’t represent every Black woman and, even if it did, Black women still deserve respect, honesty, love, and commitment.
This is an open letter to my Black men to challenge them to respect our Black women, to cherish them, hold them, worship them, and most importantly, to love them
I know one might think that the comment I made above was harsh; however, the truth hurts and being a Black man myself, I feel its imperative to write this blog.
Several weeks ago, my friend Jennifer had this quote in her Gmail status: “Black men are playas and white men want to commit”. At first I was offended by the comment but then I began to think about all my Black male friends who are and were in relationships and none of them were faithful. Then I thought about my white male friends and they all were committed in their relationships. I am not at all implying that all white men are faithful, but the majority of white men are not afraid to commit.
For instance, I have a friend who just got married three months ago. I recently saw him at a nightclub with his wedding band on his key chain! I asked him where his ring was. He said, “On my key chain,” with a smile. All I could do was look and shake my head in shame. This is just one of several issues that I encounter when I talk with a lot of my friends about relationships. This issue is not that my friends are married, because God forbid that you catch black men wanting to be married; however, they have a main girlfriend with two or three other women on the side.
When I hear these stories of my friends being in a committed relationship but choosing to cheat, I ask them why they do it. They tell me: (1. They are too young to be committed (2. Their girl made them mad so they cheated (3. Their girl is the one they’re going to marry but they got to “get some” now before they put that ring on her finger (4. “I only got some head.”
When we as Black men cheat on the beautiful Black Queen that we are with it affects her more than anything we as men could imagine. If you look back almost 400 years ago, Black women were much more than just the backbone of the family – she was the leader of the family. Throughout slavery, black women would clean the master’s house, work in the fields, clean her own home lived, cook breakfast and dinner for the master and her family, get raped by her master, take care of the master’s children and her own children, and may have even gotten beaten by her husband because he was helpless and frustrated at being unable to provide for his family. Not only was the Black woman a provider, but also a fearless leader like Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth, Congresswoman Barbara Jordan, and Dorothy Height, just to name a few.
Not only did the Black women of the past lay a foundation for us, but the Black women of today are continuing to do the same. But as black men we decide to walk all over them, take advantage of them, choose not commit to them, disrespect them, lie to them. Black women are the ones that love us Black men, and we have to treat our Black women with the respect and love that they deserve.
Another trend with Black men is their lack of desire to get married. I have heard the same stories over and over again about Black men being with the same women for five years or more, but never proposing or even attempting to take the relationship to the next level. Their reasoning for this is “I’m not ready”, “I don’t want to be tied down”, “I love her, but I’m not ready for that next step.”
One might ask why the women don’t leave after a certain point, and may suggest that it’s her fault for staying with him for that long without a commitment anyway. Anyone can make pass judgment when they aren’t in that particular situation; however, we have to think about what’s going through that woman’s head. (1.She figures that one day he’s going to come around because she knows he loves her and he tells her that everyday (2. She feels that he treats her like a queen and she knows that there’s aren’t that many Black men out there that compare to him or (3. She doesn’t want to be alone so she will lower her standards in order to not be alone.
Furthermore, if your a Black woman, its hard to find that working Black man that you want when one out of 25 Black men between 20 - 29 will die, or that for every one Black man that attends a UC or State school in California five Black men go to prison, and the majority of Black men are in jail and the small percentage that actually have a good job or a college education are too busy being a playa and don’t have a desire to settle down.
Today Black men view Black women as more of an object than as a person. One reason for this stems from Black women being oversexualized in music videos and through other imagery in the media. This doesn’t provide an excuse for the way Black men treat Black women. Black men need to realize that what’s being depicted in videos doesn’t represent every Black woman and, even if it did, Black women still deserve respect, honesty, love, and commitment.
This is an open letter to my Black men to challenge them to respect our Black women, to cherish them, hold them, worship them, and most importantly, to love them
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